Review #1 - Brita Spacesaver Small Pitcher

For my first ever review, I will give my thoughts on my Brita Spacesaver Small Pitcher. "That's such a stupid thing to review first, you idiot," I hear you saying. Well, shut up. I have very strong feelings for this masterpiece of stupidity and I want to tell you all about them.

Let me just begin with a disclaimer: this is the first water pitcher I have ever owned. I am not an expert on water pitchers. If you're an expert on water pitchers, I implore you to get a better hobby. Regardless of my inexperience with such devices, I can still give my thoughts on such a worthless piece of plastic.

Late one night, after waking up to a thirst equivalent to Miley Cyrus on ecstasy, I reached for my water bottle that I keep next to my bed. Much to my dismay, it was empty. "Oh, no problem! I bought a Brita Spacesaver Small Pitcher just for this situation! I'll pour water from the pitcher straight into my water bottle in a similar fashion to what the pitcher is designed to do!" I thought. I opened my fridge, removed the Brita Spacesaver Small Pitcher, and tried to pour water. But you know what came out of the pitcher instead of water?

The lid. The lid came out. It just flopped onto the ground. Have you ever seen a giraffe pass out? The lid behaves in a similar fashion. The design behind the lid on this marvel of engineering is astoundingly terrible. Does it clip on? No. Does it fit snugly into place? No. It just sits there. The lid on the Brita Spacesaver Small Pitcher falls off easier than a paraplegic tightrope walker. The lid even falls off when the pitcher is put back into the fridge. I could set the pitcher down gently in my fridge, make sure the lid is sitting squarely on the pitcher, then slowly close the door as if I just put my baby down for a nap, and yet, somehow, the lid ends up on the opposite end of the fridge. I'm pretty sure I've discovered the lid in my sock drawer once after setting it in the fridge. Sometimes I think I hear it whisper my name in my sleep.

Brita Spacesaver Small Pitcher (Above)

Note the distinct lack of lid

The Brita Spacesaver Small Pitcher lid is worthless, but the rest of the pitcher is not particularly noteworthy. It acts like a pitcher should. It resembles other pitchers. The handle has an ergonomic design that allows for optimal handling. The clear design is a brilliant choice, allowing you to see the clarity of the water before it is poured out of the pitcher. There will be no surprises as to the content of your pitcher. The thin design of the body allows for storage in small refrigerators, even when the fridge is filled with your roommate's various half-empty drinks. Or maybe they're half-full, if you're an optimist. Either way, clean the dang fridge, Steven it's disgusting and I'm pretty sure the mayo is 8 months' expired why is it so hard to comprehend that expired food should be thrown out ITS COMMON COURTESY... The filter does its job, filtering the water so it no longer tastes like the Puget Sound. The main body of this pitcher gets an 8/10. But apparently the design team at Brita mixed up their Spacesaver lid blueprints with their used toilet paper after a late night of tacos and beer.

The lid of this abhorrent water pitcher brings the rating far below the rating I gave for the body, like an ugly face on a hot body. Overall, I would give the Brita Spacesaver Small Pitcher a 3 out of 10. While it is certainly better than your ex finding a new boyfriend not two weeks after breaking up, the anxiety and stress it presents is comparable.

TL;DR... The thing sucks. 3/10